Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom?
Because she left the phone off the hook.
What did the octopus use to write his novel?
What food is never allowed on the Titanic?
Why do people always trip on September 22?
Where do optometrists go on vacation?
Why shouldn't you buy anything with velcro?
What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?
Why was the scrapbook so proud of its education?
What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?
What kind of flowers should you not give on Valentine's Day?
Why aren't fish able to go on summer vacation?
What do little monsters call their mother?
How does a cow do math?
Why hasn't the North Pole ever won a war?
What do you call a deer that can use both hands?
What's every parent's favorite Christmas carol?
Why did the detectives show up at the concert at the beach?
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Which superhero is here to solve world hunger?
Which bird would make a great farmer?